Things You'd Never Hear The X-Men Say:
by lilWolvie
Summary: Some pointless stuff the X-Men would never say. I've seen so many of these that I had to write one of my own! Hope u like it! There's some BOM in this too! WOW! I ACTUALLY WROTE MORE!! hehe! Plz Review!
1. stuff

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one.  
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say.  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say:  
  
  
  
1. Kurt: "You know I really am sick of this German accent, I think I'll act Russian for a while."  
  
2. Rogue: (singing N'Sync) "Don't really wanna make it tough, I just wanna tell ya that I had enough, It may sound crazy but it ain't no lie, Bye bye bye!"  
  
3. Wolverine: "Hey Sabertooth wanna go fer a drink?"  
Sabertooth: "Yeah sure, why not."  
  
4. Kitty: "I'm like totally sick of my own voice!?? Isn't that like so nieve of me? Like whoa, am I like really that annoying??" (A/N sorry, didn't mean to make fun o' Kitty, I like her but I jus had to do that)  
  
5. Scott: "I'm really bored with these red shades, I think I'll try blue ones instead." (takes off his shades and puts on a blue pair, accidentally shoots a whole in the wall) "Oops, it wasn't me!"  
  
6. Jean: (talking to Duncan) "I realized you are such a self-centered asshole! (starts giggling) Me a big potty mouth! hehe!" (runs away)  
  
7. Ororo: "I am in love with Logan!!! There I said it, are you happy now!?" (A/N had to put that there)  
  
8. Juggernaut: "Fee fi, fo fum, I smell the blood of an English man!"  
  
9. Professor X : (looking at Magneto) "You think evil, I'm going to have to change your thoughts!"   
Scott: "Isn't that brain washing??"  
Professor X: "No it's not!" (changes Scotts thoughts)  
Scott: "No brain washing here." (walks away)  
  
10. Wolverine: (Popping out his claws) "We're havin' shish-kabobs t'night!"  
  
11. Spyke: "I've decided to take up rollerblading." (A/N for those of u who don't know, you should, Evan's a big fan of skateboarding and boarders hate bladers)  
  
12. Scott: (singing) "Oh I wish I were and Osker Myer wiener, that is what I truly want to be!"  
  
13. Jean: (giggling) "Hehe, I farted!"   
14. Wolverine: (starts sticking magnets to his claws) "Heh, heh, this is fun."  
  
15. Storm: "Hmmm...I'm in a bad mood today, let's make it rain!"  
  
16. Toad: "Mah tongue ish shtuck to the floor!"  
  
17. Blob: "Does anyone know Jenny Craig's number??"  
  
18. Quicksilver: "I wish I was a turtle!"  
  
19. Magneto: "Charles would you please pass the Grey Poupon?"  
  
Prof. X: "No problem."  
  
20.Prof. X: (gets up out of his wheel chair and runs around) "Hehehe! I can walk! I can walk! I fooled you all!!"  
  
21. Beast: "I think I'm going to shave all my fur off."  
  
22. Ororo: "Look at some of these words I found in the Dictionary! Bitch, whore, fuck, bastard, mother-fucker,..that's so funny!"  
  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well i hope this was funny! Plz Review! I will write more if u want me 2! These are really fun! 


	2. More pointless stuff

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you've seen some of these before, sorry I didn't know so if there are ones with the same things I'm sorry. Didn't plagiarize.   
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say. By popular demand I've added more so read and be happy.  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say 2:  
  
  
  
1. Scott: "Professor I shaved my head so I could be just like you!"  
  
2. Kurt: (running towards Mystique) "Mommy!"  
  
3. Bobby: "Man it's hot out here, I wish I had some ice!"  
  
4. Multiple: "Oops! I think I lost one of me?!"  
  
5. Wolverine: "Owwie! I got a splinter!"  
  
6. Blob: "Do I look fat in these pants?"  
  
7. Lance: "Ahhhh! I'm afraid of earthquakes!"  
  
8. Kitty: "Hey do you like, think we'd ever be on the X-Files??"  
  
9. Rahne: "Aachooo! I'm allergic to dogs!"  
  
10. Kurt: (chasing his tail) "Hehe! I almost got it!"  
  
11. Kitty: "Someone help! I locked myself in my room!"  
  
12. Quicksilver: "I'm getting motion sickness!"  
  
13. Storm: (starts making it rain in her room) "hehe!"  
Prof. X: "Storm what are you doing??"  
Storm: "I wanted my own pool party."  
  
14. Sabertooth: "I think I'm gonna paint my nails pink."  
  
15. Tabitha: *BOOM!* "Ahhh! Loud noises scare me!"  
  
16. Rogue: (Goes around touching everyone without her gloves on) "I know you, and you, and you..." (knocks everyone unconscious)  
  
17. Toad: "Ewww! I slimed myself yo!"  
  
18. Bobby: "Ya know what? I really like bein' called Popsickle!"  
  
19. Wolverine: (starts laughing uncontrollably staring at the Prof.)   
Prof. X: "Logan what is it?"  
  
Wolverine: "Heh heh, you're bald! Hehehe!"  
  
20. Jubilee: "I hate shopping!"  
  
21. Spyke: "Ow! I stabbed myself!"  
  
  
A/N: well hope u liked this one! i may write more if i think of any! Plz review! 


	3. yeah i thought these ones were pretty fu...

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you've seen some of these before, sorry I didn't know so if there are ones with the same things I'm sorry. Didn't plagiarize.   
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say. By popular demand I've added more so read and be happy.  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say 3:  
  
  
  
1. Quicksilver: "Ummm..I need a new pair of shoes, I burnt the rubber on these ones."  
Mystique: "Again?"  
  
2. Juggernaut: "I'm not as think as you dumb I am!" (A/N hehe couldn't resist!)  
  
3. Rahne: (breathing into her hand) "Yuk! Dog breath!"  
  
4. Wolverine: "I love you man!" (hugs Sabertooth)  
Sabertooth: "I love you too!" (starts crying and hugs Wolvie)  
  
5. Rogue: "Oh mah God, I think I just saw N'Sync!"  
  
6. Lance: "I can't wait to do my homework!" (A/N that was pathetic, I know)  
  
7. Prof. X: "I love you Cerebro, will you marry me??"  
  
8. Kitty: "I'm gonna like, just take a peek at the boys locker room."  
  
9. Blob: "You know what I need? ...A bra!"  
  
10. Magneto: "Help! I accidentally stuck myself to the refrigerator!!"  
  
11. Jean: "Hey Scott, what's up?"  
Scott: "For the last time, call me Professor S.!!"  
  
12. Toad: (staring at Blob eating a pint of Ben & Jerry's ice cream) "Heh heh!"  
Blob: "What?!"  
Toad: "Chubby Hubby! Hehe!"  
  
13. Kitty: (stares at Wolverine who just keeps looking at his claws) "Like, what are you doing?!"  
Wolverine: "I just realized something, I never have to use a knife again!"  
  
14. Kurt: (starts 'porting around different spots in the room) "Look at me! Look at me, I'm over here! *BAMF* Nope, over here!"  
  
15. Quicksilver: (singing) "Run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me I'm the ginger bread man!!"  
  
16. Beast: "My stars and garters! I have blue fur!"  
Wolverine: "Yeah, no kiddin' Einstein!"  
  
17. Wolverine: "Hey Elf!"  
Kurt: "Oh, now I get it!"  
Wolvie: "What?!"  
Kurt: "Elf! Pointy ears! I get it now!"  
  
18. Jean: "Hey Scott are you coming or what??"  
Scott: (sitting on the floor pouting) "I don't wanna be leader no more!!"  
  
19. Storm: "I want to be a millionaire Regis!!"  
  
20. Prof. X: "I can't find mah dentures!"  
  
21. Spyke: "Auntie O! Auntie O! Auntie O! Auntie O!"  
Storm: "What is it Evan?!"  
Spyke: "Nothin' I just like sayin' your name!"  
  
22. Wolverine: (punches Sabertooth in the jaw)  
Sabertooth: "That wasn't very gentlemanly of you, now was it?"  
Wolverine: "Huh?!"  
  
23. Kurt: (running around the mansion with a towel over his shoulders) "I am Batman!!"  
  
24. Wolverine: (sees Barney on the t.v. then starts slicing at it) "Die you big purple blimp!!" (A/N actually Wolvie probably would do that. hehe)  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well hope u liked this new chp. I will post more if u want me 2 and if i think of any more! Plz review!! *BAMF*  
oh! and i read the reviews, pretty good ideas for those of u who put some in the reviews!! 


	4. Ta-da!! Insane-ness!! gotta love it!

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you've seen some of these before, sorry I didn't know so if there are ones with the same things I'm sorry. Didn't plagiarize.   
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say. By popular demand I've added more so read and be happy. I got some ideas hangin' out with my friends so, here goes nothin'!!  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say 4:  
  
  
  
1. Blob: "Heh heh, If I poke my stomach it jiggles for a really long time, heh he!"  
  
2. Kurt: *BLINK!* "Vhat the hell vas that?!" *BAMF!* "Okay that's better!"  
  
3. Beast: "Blue's really not my color."  
  
4. Kitty: "Can you call me Puppy? I really wanna be called Puppy?!"  
  
5. Ororo: (sees Scott and Jean kissing) "Dirty!"  
  
6. Logan: (sees Blob scarfing down food) "Ewwie!!"  
  
7. Toad: (staring at Quicksilver) "Why the hell do you were such tight clothes yo!?"  
Quicksilver: "Because,..(starts singing) I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy it huurrttts!!"  
Toad: "Sorry I asked yo!"  
  
8. Rogue: "Scott's such a whipped little puppy! How sad."  
  
9. Wolverine: (starts trashing his room, tearing everything up and the Prof. comes in) "I woke up this morning and I hated everything."  
  
10. Scott: "Hey Professor, I've been having trouble with my physics homework."  
Professor X: "Shut up! No one cares about your pathetic little problems!!"  
  
11. Kitty: "Like, he Rogue did you like, totally get a kick out of that movie?, It was like totally funny ya know??"  
Rogue: "Make someone happy, SHUT UP!"  
  
12. Multiple: "I'm not schizophrenic, there really are more than one of me!!"  
  
13. Iceman: "Umm..I think I gave myself frost-bite??"  
  
14. Sunspot: "I hate the sun!!"  
  
15. Wolverine: (staring at his claws) "I'll name this one Terminator,..this one Bruce Willis, and that one Jaws!"  
  
16. Kurt: (looking in the mirror) "I see blue people! Ahhhhh!! That's me!"  
  
17. Sabertooth: (dancing around in a pink ballerina outfit) "Look at me! Look at me! I'm a pretty little fairy!!"  
  
18. Scott: "My finger's stuck in my nose!!"  
  
19. Ororo: "I try to see things from other people's point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass!!"  
  
20. Scott: "I just love myself!" (A/N he probably would say something like that! hehe, I know I'm sooo evil!!)  
  
21. Kurt: (looking at his 3 fingered hands) "Hey that's no fair!! I can't slick anyone off, I don't have a middle finger! .....Wait a sec., technically my pointer is my middle finger!!"  
(Scott walks in)  
  
Scott: "Hey Kurt!"  
  
Kurt: "Hey Scott, what's up my man?" (points at Scott) "Hehehe!" (A/N i know that one was lame but i couldn't help myself!)  
  
  
  
Author's Note: Well hope u liked 'em! I may write more in a little while, I need to refresh my brain. Maybe I'll think o' some after the new episode Saturday! ..Okay umm..PLEASE REVIEW!! Have fun!! 


	5. Spider Man p.j.'s???

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you've seen some of these before, sorry I didn't know so if there are ones with the same things I'm sorry. Didn't plagiarize.   
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say. By popular demand I've added more so read and be happy. I got some ideas hangin' out with my friends so, here goes nothin'!!  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say 5:  
  
  
1. Kurt: "Look it's Mystique!"  
Spyke: "Dude, your mom's hot!!"  
  
2. Professor X: "I can't believe it's not butter! I really can't."  
  
3. Ororo: "So are you going to lead the training session today?"  
Beast: (staring at his toes) "What did you say? I'm so sorry, it's just that I find it fascinating what can grow between my toes!"  
  
4. Wolverine: (singing J-Lo) "Is that your girlfriend? I've got my boyfriend, maybe we can be friends, na na na, na na na!"  
  
5. Toad: "Man I really stink yo!"  
  
6. Jean: "Yes, that's my real color." (A/N: hehe, i got that from "Walk in the Wild Side")  
  
7. Kurt: (walking down the stairs to the kitchen in his p.j.'s) "Dum, de dum dum dum."  
Kitty: (sees Kurt and stops) "Are those like, Spider man pajamas??"  
Kurt: "Ahh!..NO!" *BAMF!*  
  
8. Scott: "I really am Harry Potter!"  
  
9. Sabertooth: *cough* *gag* *spit!* "So that's what happened to that cop!"  
  
10. Blob: "I'm really a sensitive guy ya know?"  
  
11. Wolverine: "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!"  
Rogue: (runs to where wolvie is) "What is it?!"  
Wolverine: "I thought I saw a spider!!"  
  
12. Professor X: "I just have one last thing to say,...PENIS! Deal with it."  
  
13. Beast: (talking to Kurt) "I'm your real father!"  
  
14. Quicksilver: "Ahhh, it's so dark! Everything's gone black, Help!"  
Lance: "Dude, open your eyes."  
Quicksilver: "I knew that!"  
  
15. Iceman: "I'm melting! Melting!!"  
  
16. Scott: "Britney Spears rules the universe!!"  
  
17. Kitty: "Help! I accidentally got my hand stuck in the wall!"  
  
18. Rogue: "Somebody spank me!"  
  
19. Wolverine: (cutting himself repeatedly and watching it heal) "Cut, no cut,..cut, no cut,..cut, no cut."  
  
20. Jean: "Hehehe!"  
Duncan: Jean, what's so funny??"  
Jean: "Duncan, Duncan Donuts! Heheh!"  
  
21. Professor X: (spinning circles in his wheelchair) "Wheeeeeeee!! Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!"  
  
  
Author's Note: Hope u like this new chapter!! i love being insane!! hehe! PLZ REVIEW!! for the x-men and BOM's sake!!!!!! 


	6. Quoting from movies!! hehe

Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men, how sad...poor me.  
Author's Note: I've seen so many of these I just had to write one, and I came across a few ideas while watching some of the episodes I've taped. Yes I do tape them, I'm a bit obsessed but I'm sure I'm not the only one. If you've seen some of these before, sorry I didn't know so if there are ones with the same things I'm sorry. Didn't plagiarize.   
Summary: These are just some little pointless things that you'd probably never hear the X-Men say. By popular demand I've added more so read and be happy. I got some ideas while in Biology class at school one day and thought i'd put them to paper! well here goes!  
  
  
  
Things you'd Never Hear The X-Men Say 6:  
  
  
1. (Wolvie and Superman fighting)  
Superman: "I'm the real man o' steel!"  
Wolverine: "No I am!!"  
Superman: "No ME!  
Wolverine: "MEEE!!!"  
  
2. Kurt: "Hey guys I'm gonna start a band! We're called Fuzzy Blue and the Disappearing Elves!"  
  
3. Jean: (To professor X) "X this and X that! Why does it all have to be about you!"  
  
4. Toad: "Lickety Lick! Give us a kiss!" (A/N got that one from x-men: mutant accademy game. hehe.)  
  
5. Pietro: "Magneto's my dad?! What?? You gotta be kidding! He's so slow!"  
  
6. Rogue: "Where am ah supposed to go?"  
Logan: "I dunno."  
Rogue: "You don't know, or you don't care?"  
Logan: "Pick one."  
Kitty: "Ok, like how many times have you guys watched the X-Men movie??"  
  
7. (Rogue walks over to Scott and taps him on the shoulder)  
Scott: "Eeek! No don't touch me! I'm poison!!"  
Rogue: "That's mah power you dumbass!"  
Scott: "Oh, well that explains alot."  
  
8. Logan: "Whoa, whoa, h-hey, it's me."  
Scott: "Prove it."  
Logan: "Yer a dick!"  
Kitty: "Ok that's it! I'm confiscating that video!"  
Scott: "You're just jealous, 'cause you didn't get a big part!"  
Kitty: "Argh!" (Sticks her tongue out and phases through the wall)  
  
9. Spyke: "Hey, that's dangerous! You'll poke someones eye out!!"  
  
10. Wolverine: "Hey Elf."  
Kurt: "Ok that's it! You've officially lowered my self esteem for the day!"  
Wolverine: "What I do?"  
  
11. Kitty: (running through the mansion screaming) "Ahhhhh! Help! Wolfsbane's chasing me again!!"  
Rahne: (in her wolf form) "Here Kitty, kitty! Grrrrrrrr!!"  
  
12. Storm: "Hey! It's Mr.Clean!"  
Professor X: "I told you specifically NOT to call me that!!"  
  
13. Sabertooth: (singing) "I am stuck on Band-aid brand cuz Band-aid's stuck on me!"  
Mystique: "Will someone make him stop singing that!!?"  
Magneto: "He doesn't even need to use Band-aids!"  
Sabertooth: "I am stuck on Band-aid brand, cuz germs don't stick on me!"  
  
14. Multiple: (singing Pink) "I'm a hazard to myself!!! Don't let me get me!"  
  
15. Bobby: (laying on the couch with a blanket pulled up to his chin, blows out a breath of cold air) "Hey Kitty, can I tell you a secret??"  
Kitty: "What is it Bobby??"  
Bobby: "I see dead people!"  
Kitty: Ok, like no more movies for you guys!!"  
  
  
  
Author's Note: ok so i decided to make another one o' these, so sue me! So what did ya think??? Plz Review!!! tell me which ones ya liked best!! *BAMF* 


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